Barbara De Angelis — Dance of Life

 

Samuel Taylor Coleridge - Advice

As creative leaders, we all receive advice — some good, some bad, and some dangerous.  Be careful of who you listen to.  The wrong advice can be damaging to your emotional and mental health as well as your creative output.  Good advice can keep you on track and motivated to keep producing creative work.  Dangerous advice is that which keeps us from fulfilling our potential.  We give up because some expert says we will never amount to anything.  

As creative leaders, we are also tempted to give advice.  Be careful.  The wrong advice can destroy a potential artist or writer.  I learned a valuable technique from a trainer many years ago.  He said if you are coaching someone on skill development, you should ask them two questions:  What did you do right?  and What will you do differently next time.

Most people know when they made a mistake or messed up, even if they don't consciously admit it.  And when they write or paint something, they are very critical of themselves.  So get them to focus on what they did right?  Have them focus on the good things.  Then ask them what they will do differently the next time they write a story or paint a picture?  Get the person to focus on how he can improve.  

Harley King

There are hundreds of reasons that we should believe in our talents.  As creative leaders, we should celebrate our unique visions of the worlds we inhabit.  We should be proud of our accomplishments and our victories.



Yet, many of us are plagued by self-doubt and a lack of confidence.  We feel we are not good enough.  Even when we are successful, we are afraid that others will discover that we are frauds.  We race through life hoping that the truth will not be revealed and that we can escape embarrassment and shame.



We fail to realize that we have many reasons to love ourselves.  We are so busy focusing on our mistakes and weaknesses that we don't ever discover the truth.  We see only our faults and failures.



Open your eyes and see beyond your mistakes.  Take a moment and give thanks for who you are and what you have been able to accomplish.  Count all the reasons you should love yourself.  Then accept the gift of talent that you have been given and appreciate your strengths.  Be confident.  Be strong.  Love yourself.

Harley King

Sometimes we as creative leaders are our own worst critics.  We often don't appreciate the talent we have been given or the skill we have mastered.  We have a difficult time accepting praise from others.  Sometimes we don't even want to let others see our work.  We are afraid of what they may say.



We need to learn not to beat ourselves up over every minor mistake or perceived mistake.  Mistakes actually are good things because they often lead to new creative ideas.  Don't let your mistakes knock you down.  Find the opportunity in the mistake.  



The Japanese have a concept called kintsugi which is the art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with gold, silver or platinum.  The artist treats the breakage and repair as part of the history of the object, not as something to be thrown out or hidden.  The artist embraces the flaws and imperfections. 



As creative leaders, we need to stop trying to be perfect and, instead, embrace our flaws and imperfections.  We need to incorporate our flaws into our work.  We need to find the beauty within the ugly.  We need to enjoy what our flaws have to teach us.

Harley King

We are all faced with important and not so important decisions.  Sometimes we make decisions quickly with little or no forethought.  And sometimes we spend days, weeks and even months trying to make up our minds.  Often once we have made our decision we begin to have second thoughts.  Did we make the right decision?  Maybe we should have chosen the other direction.  We begin to vacillate and question ourselves.  We doubt ourselves.



As creative leaders, we must learn to trust our instincts.  We need to train our hearts to listen to the little voice inside.  This voice is often overshadowed by its big brother — analysis.  And yes, there is a time and place for analysis, but not after the decision has been made.  You need to believe in your ability to make the right decision.  You need to accept the decisions that you make.



While we may make bad decisions, we should never regret the decisions that we make.  We should not dwell in the past.  Learn from your mistakes.  And if possible, change your decision.  If you find that new job that you accepted was not as promoted, you can always find another one.  Don't live regretting bad decisions.  Change them.  And learn to trust that soft inner voice that knows the right answer.

Five Ways to Make Better Decisions

1. Research and analyze the various options prior to making a decision.  Make a list of pros and cons.


2. Find a quiet place, relax, and meditate on the decision.


3. Never make a decision when tired.  Sleep on the decision and make it in the morning when you are fresh.


4. Cultivate your ability to hear that soft voice inside your heart.


5. Accept that you made the right decision.  Don't doubt yourself.  Don't regret your decision.

May you trust yourself enough 

to accept the decisions you make.