Samuel Taylor Coleridge - Advice

As creative leaders, we all receive advice — some good, some bad, and some dangerous.  Be careful of who you listen to.  The wrong advice can be damaging to your emotional and mental health as well as your creative output.  Good advice can keep you on track and motivated to keep producing creative work.  Dangerous advice is that which keeps us from fulfilling our potential.  We give up because some expert says we will never amount to anything.  

As creative leaders, we are also tempted to give advice.  Be careful.  The wrong advice can destroy a potential artist or writer.  I learned a valuable technique from a trainer many years ago.  He said if you are coaching someone on skill development, you should ask them two questions:  What did you do right?  and What will you do differently next time.

Most people know when they made a mistake or messed up, even if they don't consciously admit it.  And when they write or paint something, they are very critical of themselves.  So get them to focus on what they did right?  Have them focus on the good things.  Then ask them what they will do differently the next time they write a story or paint a picture?  Get the person to focus on how he can improve.  

Edwin Hubbell Chapin - Forgiveness

As creative leaders we often face rejection. People ignore our paintings. Editors reject our writing. Critics criticize our work. How we respond to this rejection is a indicator of our character. 

When I was in sixth grade I was asked to be the reporter for our class news in the local newspaper. The criticism I received was that I needed to tone my writing down because it was too much like advertising. I was so deeply hurt that it was years before I picked up a pen and began to write again. But those articles foreshadowed a later career in marketing and advertising where I did actually write ads.

I have been reading the biographies and memoirs of Presidents for several years now.  Even these great leaders had a hard time overcoming criticism and forgiving their critics.  Both Harry S. Truman and Dwight D. Eisenhower felt slighted by the other.  Richard M. Nixon felt slighted by JFK and LBJ and even Eisenhower on occasion.  Nixon's failure to forgive his enemies and his critics led in part to his down fall and resignation.

How do you handle criticism? How do you respond to rejection? Many years ago I submitted two haiku to two different magazines accidentally. The reason I found out is that they both were returned on the same day. The first letter I opened was a rejection slip and it hurt. When I opened the second envelope, I found the haiku was accepted for publication. I learned a valuable lesson that day. There will always be rejection, but there will also be acceptance. Don't focus on the rejection; focus on the acceptance. Editors are fickle and rejection often has nothing to do with you. It has to do with the editor's editorial needs and his personal taste.

Maybe it is time to take a look at your life.  Who do you need to forgive?  What criticisms and rejections are holding you back from success?  What pain and injury must you forget?  What we spend our time thinking about is who we become.  Are you so busy reliving the slights and rejections of the past that you fail to enjoy the present?  Life is too short to dwell on what we can't change. Forgive and move on.

Harley King

Sometimes we as creative leaders are our own worst critics.  We often don't appreciate the talent we have been given or the skill we have mastered.  We have a difficult time accepting praise from others.  Sometimes we don't even want to let others see our work.  We are afraid of what they may say.



We need to learn not to beat ourselves up over every minor mistake or perceived mistake.  Mistakes actually are good things because they often lead to new creative ideas.  Don't let your mistakes knock you down.  Find the opportunity in the mistake.  



The Japanese have a concept called kintsugi which is the art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with gold, silver or platinum.  The artist treats the breakage and repair as part of the history of the object, not as something to be thrown out or hidden.  The artist embraces the flaws and imperfections. 



As creative leaders, we need to stop trying to be perfect and, instead, embrace our flaws and imperfections.  We need to incorporate our flaws into our work.  We need to find the beauty within the ugly.  We need to enjoy what our flaws have to teach us.

Sally Field

"It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes."

— Sally Field

American Actress

November 6, 1946 -

Commentary
Probably one of the most negative, destructive critics that creative leaders confront are themselves. We are often harsher on ourselves than we are on our family, peers and friends. We compare ourselves to those around us and believe we are not as good. We believe that others don't like us and are looking down their noses at us. We take a simple negative statement that often is uttered and forgotten to heart and walk around crushed for days and weeks.

Don't judge yourself through the eyes of others. Don't let their negative comments penetrate your heart and soul. Protect yourself from the onslaught of their poisonous arrows. No one can know you better than yourself. Their comments are only their perception of who they think you are. They only see only a part of you. They don't know you.

Creative Practice
This week make a list of 10 of your most positive traits and post them somewhere that you can read them. Read this list aloud to yourself when you wake in the morning and again before you go to bed at night. Carry a copy of the list with you and whenever someone puts you down, pull out your list and read it aloud to yourself.

Biography
Sally Field, the Academy Award winning actress, was born in Pasadena, California to Richard Field, an Army officer, and Margaret Field, an actress. Her parents divorced when she was four. She was a cheerleader in high school. In the 1960s she starred in two TV shows: Gidget and the The Flying Nun. Gidget lasted only 32 episodes (one season) from September, 1965 - April 1966. The Flying Nun lasted for 83 episodes and ran from September, 1967 - September, 1970.

Sally Field starred in the title role of the 1976 TV movie, Sybil, and won an Emmy Award. She co-starred with Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit in 1977. In 1979, she starred inNorma Rae and won the Academy Award for Best Actress. She won a second Best Actress award for the 1984 movie, Places in the Heart.

Video
Here are clips from 10 of Sally Field's movies.