Harley King

Much of the self-help literature stresses the importance of confidence.  When we make a decision, we should not look back.  We should not question ourselves.  We should not doubt ourselves.  We should act as if we have no fear.



Yet, self-doubt can be a good thing since it prevents us from becoming overconfident.  When people are overconfident, they make mistakes.  They assume too much and become reckless. Doubt gives us the opportunity to step back and reassess the situation — to make sure we are making the right decisions.  



Have you ever made a decision and then had second thoughts?  This is normal.  We often second-guess ourselves.  Most of the time our initial decision was the best one and we should move forward.  But occasionally, this moment of reassessment gives us the opportunity to change course and correct our mistake.



My wife and I spent our honeymoon in Acapulco, Mexico.  Since we were young with almost no money and I had only a part-time job, my parents paid for our trip.  One day a young man offered us a free dinner if we would attend a sales pitch about time shares.  We took him up on his offer.  Now, I am a sucker for a good sales pitch and I bought hook, line and sinker.  I signed the contract even though I did not have enough income to make the monthly payment.



Even before the ink was dry on the contract, doubt set in.  I knew I had made a mistake.  I could not afford the deal no matter how good it was.  People can read me like a book and I am sure the salesman could read the doubt and even fear on my face.  He made the mistake of telling me that if I was not satisfied, I could tear up the contract.  I didn't hesitate.  I tore up the contract and walked out of the room, not waiting for my wife.



My young bride was shocked and embarrassed by my behavior and she has not let me forget it in 42 years of marriage.  Of course, now we laugh about my cold feet and doubt.  Yet, I know I made the right decision.  Sometimes, doubt protects us from ourselves and our impulses.



Yes, self-confidence is important to success, but self-doubt is a lighthouse that will keep you from running aground.  Don't become shipwrecked on the rocks of time. Be willing to rethink your decisions and change course.

Harley King

Life is not simple and we are often faced with challenging decisions.  Do you take the easy path or the difficult one?  Do you make courageous decisions or safe ones?  Do you make decisions that build your character or corrupt it?



I am by nature a shy person and this has often led me to make safe decisions.  I don't approach strangers and strike up a conversation.  I don't go up to authors after a speech and introduce myself.  I have, though, made a choice in the work place to overcome my shyness. I will approach strangers and introduce myself as part of my job.



My wife, on the other hand, has never met a stranger.  She will strike up a conversation any place, any time, with people she does not know.  We attended an art fair recently and she spent time talking with artists, engaging them in conversation while I stood by listening and wishing I had that kind of courage.



I also will seek out the easy path, avoiding where possible the dangerous or difficult ones. When driving a car and needing to turn left across a busy street without a stoplight, I choose to turn right and find a driveway or parking lot I can turn around in.



And I often don't make the tough decisions when I disagree with a person.  I will choose not to state my opinion if it will cause friction with someone in a position of authority.



So what impact do these choices have on my character?  How have they helped to create the person I have become? I sometimes think of myself as lacking courage — of lacking a willingness to standup and be counted for something I believe in.  I keep my beliefs to myself and do not stir the waters.



What about you?  How have your choices created the person you are?  Have you been able to make the courageous decisions?

Harley King

We are all faced with important and not so important decisions.  Sometimes we make decisions quickly with little or no forethought.  And sometimes we spend days, weeks and even months trying to make up our minds.  Often once we have made our decision we begin to have second thoughts.  Did we make the right decision?  Maybe we should have chosen the other direction.  We begin to vacillate and question ourselves.  We doubt ourselves.



As creative leaders, we must learn to trust our instincts.  We need to train our hearts to listen to the little voice inside.  This voice is often overshadowed by its big brother — analysis.  And yes, there is a time and place for analysis, but not after the decision has been made.  You need to believe in your ability to make the right decision.  You need to accept the decisions that you make.



While we may make bad decisions, we should never regret the decisions that we make.  We should not dwell in the past.  Learn from your mistakes.  And if possible, change your decision.  If you find that new job that you accepted was not as promoted, you can always find another one.  Don't live regretting bad decisions.  Change them.  And learn to trust that soft inner voice that knows the right answer.

Five Ways to Make Better Decisions

1. Research and analyze the various options prior to making a decision.  Make a list of pros and cons.


2. Find a quiet place, relax, and meditate on the decision.


3. Never make a decision when tired.  Sleep on the decision and make it in the morning when you are fresh.


4. Cultivate your ability to hear that soft voice inside your heart.


5. Accept that you made the right decision.  Don't doubt yourself.  Don't regret your decision.

May you trust yourself enough 

to accept the decisions you make.