Harley King

One of the easiest things to be in this world is a pessimist.  It is much easier to be negative and discouraging than it is to be positive and enthusiastic.  It is much easier to find fault than it is to find the good.  Pessimists are the enemies of optimism.  They think they are being realistic, but their negative view of the world is no more realistic than the optimist.



We must learn to say goodbye to the pessimists in our lives.  Their negativity is harmful to our mental and emotional health.  Their negativity is destructive to our creative impulse.  No matter how painful it may be, we must let them go.



Many of us become trapped by the chains of our own fears because we don't want to make a mistake — we want what we create to be perfect.  The truth is perfection does not exist. Even nature is not perfect.  We can find plenty of mistakes in nature.  



We must learn to accept and live with imperfection.  We  must not let the chains of our fears destroy us.  Despite our fears, we must keep creating — we must keep growing and developing.  We must believe in ourselves and our talents.

Harley King

Are you bored with your life?  Do you wish you could become someone other than who you are?  A 2007 survey of high school students found that two-thirds admitted to being bored in class every day.  Even creative people, unfortunately, allow themselves to be bored.



Many people feel that their lives are boring.  My hope is that your life can be like a bowl of chili — hot, spicy and full of flavor.  I believe boredom is a state of mind that can be overcome by looking at life new ways.  The fact that you are reading this means that you are still above ground and have not been buried.  The world we live in is very exciting and full of hope if we spend a few minutes every day celebrating life.



For creative leaders like you and me, creativity is a crucial antidote for our survival.  Find joy in your creative energy and your creations.  Creativity overcomes the dull, boring and uninteresting.



Every year people in the northern climates grow tired of the cold.  Cabin fever sets in and our rational minds go on vacation.  Hiding indoors during the winter months can be very boring.  We miss moving about in the outdoors.  We keep looking for something to divert our attention from the cold and snow.  



Have you ever been chilled to the bone and the warmth of a bowl of soup or cup of hot chocolate picked you up and made your whole spirit feel better?  The temperature last night where I live dropped to a minus eight degrees so I thought it was only appropriate to make chili today.  Hot and spicy chili to warm up the body and the spirit.

May your life be like a bowl of chili — 

hot, spicy and full of flavor.

Harley King

Have you ever felt pulled in opposite directions and thought you were going to break?  At one time or another most of us have probably felt that way.  As creative leaders, living the lives we lead in today's world can be very stressful and challenging.  We have multiple priorities vying for our attention and time.  



The demands of a job can be stressful in and of themselves.  We have multiple people pulling and pushing us.  We have deadlines that we have to meet.  Quotas that we have to deliver. Goals we have to achieve.



On top of work, the home life can add additional stress.  We have children to raise, chores to do and spouses who require our time.  We have friends who call and text and want to have coffee so they can chat about the stress in their lives.



Some days it is amazing that we have anytime for ourselves.  Some days we can't find time to do any of our creative work like writing or painting.  When I go too long without writing, I feel out of sorts.  A happy, successful life depends on taking care of oneself — of finding a release for our creative energies.  Too often, we are so busy meeting the needs and demands of others that we forget about our needs and expectations.



Negative people also creative stress in our lives.  They put us down.  They tell us we will never be successful.  They are always finding something to criticize.  They suggest we give up on our dreams because they have given up on theirs.  They are very destructive to our spirits.

Five Ways to Care for Yourself

1.  Discover what restores your spirit.  For example: 

• A walk in the woods


• Exercise


• Meditation


• Prayer


• Reading


• Writing


• Singing


• Drawing/Painting


• Massage

2.  Build time for yourself into your calendar even if it is five minutes a day.

3.  Learn to say "no" to the requests of others if you don't have the time.

4.  Avoid negative people who put you down and make you feel bad about yourself.

5.  Associate with positive people who are supportive and caring.

Harley King

Humor does not come easy for me.  I rarely find the jokes that people tell as funny.  I often don't find standup comedians to be very funny either.  As a child, I was very serious.  My wife, on the other hand, has always been a comedian.  Growing up, she would have her family in stitches with her ability to make people laugh.  She has taught me through our more than forty years of marriage that laughter is one of the most powerful instruments of healing that we have at our disposal.  These days I look for ways to bring humor into my life.



Whether I am one on one with a person or in a small group of people, I do not tell jokes.  As a professional speaker for over 25 years, I did not tell jokes.  Yet, there have been moments in my workshops that we laughed so hard that we had tears in our eyes.  For me, some of the best humor is what I call spontaneous humor.  It is humor that is unplanned and rises out of a comment that one of the participants makes.  What I have learned over the years is to play off the comments of others.  I have learned to use spontaneous humor to create laughter in the class.



I also think some of the best humor in my personal life is spontaneous humor.  We can be sitting around the kitchen table and someone says something that makes us giggle and soon we are laughing so hard that my belly is shaking like a bowl of jello and I can barely catch my breath.  I usually don't remember what triggered the laughter, but it feels good and it has shaken up my insides.

Five Ways to Add Laughter To Your Life

1. Don't take yourself so seriously.  Learn to laugh at your mistakes.


2. Find a friend or spouse who makes you laugh.


3. Watch and listen to humorous speakers and comedians whom you find funny.


4. Read books that make you laugh.


5. Look for the absurd situations in your life.

Jeanne Robertson

One of the funniest speakers I have ever heard is Jeanne Robertson.  Jeanne grew up in Graham, NC and represented the state as Miss North Carolina.  She was voted Miss Congeniality in the Miss America Pageant. After college, she coached basketball for nine years before becoming a professional speaker.  She stands 6'2" in her stocking feet.  For years she told funny stories about the beauty pageant.  Today she tells funny stories about growing old.  Here is a video of her sharing one of her stories, Don't Bungee Jump Naked.

Harley King

Sometimes we become so lost in the rain of pain and suffering that we fail to see the rainbow of greatness within our souls.  A perfect world does not exist despite how much our hearts wish that it did.  Humans often create their own pain and suffering.  We remember the slights and hurts years after they occur.  We repeat the same bad decisions expecting different results.  Human pain and suffering is a part of the natural order of physical world within which we live.  



Violence and disruption are also a part of the planet.  The civilized world often pretends that the physical world does not exist.  We hide within our buildings safe from the elements.  And we are shocked and surprised when a volcano erupts spilling lava over the land or an earthquake opens up and swallows people and buildings.  Thousands die every years as a result of natural disasters creating more pain and suffering.



Yet within each of us is something greater than the pain and suffering we experience.  If we allow it, the rain of pain and suffering can nourish and water these seeds of greatness.  The pain and suffering can help us grow emotionally and spiritually.  If we learn to harness the pain and suffering, we will be able to transform it into creative works of art.  We can find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

How To Nourish the Seeds of Greatness

1. Choose to let go of the slights and pain that others have caused you.


2. Choose to forgive those who have harmed you.


3. Believe that you have been give artistic talents to share with the world.


4. Trust that you can transform the pain into creative works.


5. Believe that you are destined for greatness.

Harley King

We are all faced with important and not so important decisions.  Sometimes we make decisions quickly with little or no forethought.  And sometimes we spend days, weeks and even months trying to make up our minds.  Often once we have made our decision we begin to have second thoughts.  Did we make the right decision?  Maybe we should have chosen the other direction.  We begin to vacillate and question ourselves.  We doubt ourselves.



As creative leaders, we must learn to trust our instincts.  We need to train our hearts to listen to the little voice inside.  This voice is often overshadowed by its big brother — analysis.  And yes, there is a time and place for analysis, but not after the decision has been made.  You need to believe in your ability to make the right decision.  You need to accept the decisions that you make.



While we may make bad decisions, we should never regret the decisions that we make.  We should not dwell in the past.  Learn from your mistakes.  And if possible, change your decision.  If you find that new job that you accepted was not as promoted, you can always find another one.  Don't live regretting bad decisions.  Change them.  And learn to trust that soft inner voice that knows the right answer.

Five Ways to Make Better Decisions

1. Research and analyze the various options prior to making a decision.  Make a list of pros and cons.


2. Find a quiet place, relax, and meditate on the decision.


3. Never make a decision when tired.  Sleep on the decision and make it in the morning when you are fresh.


4. Cultivate your ability to hear that soft voice inside your heart.


5. Accept that you made the right decision.  Don't doubt yourself.  Don't regret your decision.

May you trust yourself enough 

to accept the decisions you make.

Harley King

Many people in our society are afraid of growing old.  The slogan when I was a teenager was "Don't trust anyone over thirty."  Researchers project that almost 300 billion dollars will be spent world wide in 2015 on anti-aging products and surgical procedures to remain young.  Over a third of that will be spent by Americans.  



People often fear the loss of their youth.  The physical changes to our bodies and our minds can be very challenging.  One of my favorite quotes is: "Age is not for sissies."  The elderly face memory challenges and chronic pain.  Even creative leaders worry about losing their creative abilities as they age. 



Yet age can bring something that is rarely found in youth — wisdom and peace.  If we have paid attention to the lessons that life has bestowed, we will have earned a measure of wisdom and peace.  Yet, some fail to learn these lessons and are doomed to repeating the same mistakes.



Are you unhappy with your life?  Disappointed with the path your life has taken?  Do you have regrets and keep living in the past?  My brother-in-law was like that.  He was never happy with what life had tossed his way.  He was always looking for the next opportunity, the next pot of gold.  He died just short of his 51st birthday still seeking success.  He failed to see what he had in front of him — people who loved him.  



From time to time we all need to pause and reflect on what the challenges we have faced have to teach us.  What did I learn this week or this month that will make me a better person?  Why do I keep making the same mistakes?  How can I better serve the people I love?  What am I thankful for?



Part of the wisdom of age is learning to accept our lives and to appreciate the gifts we have been given.  We need to find peace with our desires and to accept what we can not change.



Here are five actions that you can take immediately to help you find peace in your life and to develop the the wisdom of age.

1. Create a gratitude journal.  Every day write down something that you are thankful for.  My six-year-old daughter and I do this verbally every night at bedtime.


2. Find ways to say thank you to the people who have made a difference in your life.  This could include family, friends, teachers, and colleagues.


3. Remember people's birthdays.  I once met a woman who every year sends birthday cards to the more than 1500 people she knows.  For most of us, our birthdays are a special day.


4. Volunteer to help someone in need.  The opportunities are endless.  Service to others in their time of need is a privilege.


5. Write down the stories of your life.  Our lives are best understood through the stories we tell ourselves and others.

May the wrinkles of time 

create wisdom and peace 

within your soul.